Unexpected challenges and the need for changes can come out of the blue. No one expects to be fired, in a car accident, or caught off guard by an illness. In fact, it can be overwhelming thinking about the myriad of ways we can be forced into an unwanted change. Being blindsided by an unexpected situation can trigger the fight, flight, or freeze reaction. This can lead to feeling paralyzed, helpless, and hopeless.

Whether you love a good challenge or do all you can to avoid them, unexpected changes come and require sound decisions in order to come out the other side intact. When staying in bed with the covers over your head isn’t an option, here’s what you can do-

Understand the cycle of grief- Anytime we are forced into an unwanted change, it triggers a sense of grief and loss. There are five aspects to the grief and loss cycle. Shock, denial, anger, depression, acceptance. In times of great loss, it may take long periods of time to move through the cycle, but it will happen. Recognizing the phases of the cycle can help you realize you are moving through it to the other side.

Accepting what you can and can’t change- In the above example, we learned grief and loss includes coming to a place of acceptance. Coming into agreement with what you can and can’t change places power where it belongs. Changing things you have control over helps reign in the situation while letting go of what you can’t control helps ease fear and stress.

Be honest about your feelings- You can’t manage what you won’t acknowledge. Be honest with yourself about your feelings. Addressing feelings of sadness, fear, and anger are important. Rather than stuffing your feelings find healthy ways to express them or work through them so you can focus on what needs to change.

Do it afraid- Unexpected changes require facing fears. Bad things happen to good people. Avoiding whatever you need to do won’t prevent change. Rather, take action even when you are afraid of the unknown. There may be real consequences to the changes you are facing, but you can walk through them and get the situation behind you.

Reframe and make better choices- Some unexpected changes come from our own actions. Finding ourselves in over our heads or facing consequences of our actions can be painful. Rather than beat yourself up or continue to make poor choices out of shame, reframe what’s happening and see it as an opportunity to make better decisions and choices moving forward.

Give yourself and others grace- Unexpected changes can trigger fear, anxiety, and ultimately depression. Protect against the negative effects by giving yourself compassion for what you are going through. You can be humble and loving towards yourself while also doing what must be done. In the same way, you may need to extend grace towards others who may be going through tough changes.