Day 17– 30 Days of Positive Life-Enhancing Habits Challenge

Remember the scene in The Terminator when the best friend asks John Conor’s mom whether any of this will matter in 100 years or not? But we know that it does matter because we know the future.

When you are trying to learn to say yes or no to something, try to be more intentional with your thoughts and ask yourself if what you’re doing is really worth it or not.

I mean, if you asked yourself right now what the habit of drinking 1 gallon of water every single day is going to do for me now, tomorrow, in 20 years, I can only make assumptions, but since my assumptions are based on sound scientific sources, I can conclude that drinking water is worth it, which will make me want to stick to it more because my mindset is that it’s worth it.

One bit of advice that most life coaches will give you regarding living a more balanced life is that you need to say no more often. But sometimes, they aren’t that clear on how you decide if something is a no or a yes. One way to do better than saying no is to learn how to say yes, the right way. Once you learn how to say yes, the right way, it’ll become a habit, and saying no will never be difficult again.

  • Tell Them You’ll Answer by a Certain Time – When anyone asks you to do something unless it’s an enthusiastic “hell yeah,” don’t say yes or no immediately. Tell the person you’ll get back to them by a certain deadline to give them an answer. This gives you time to ensure you really want to do it or not.
  • Check Your Schedule – Think about what it will take to do what you are being asked to do. Will you even have enough time? Even if you want to do it and don’t have the time, it might be best to say no.
  • Will It Be Worth It? – When you think of the results of doing what is being asked of you, what will be the positive results from it? Is it worth everything else that has to be done to lead up to that moment?
  • Does It Fit in With Your Overall Mission in Life or Work? – Sometimes, people ask things of us that no longer fit our life mission. If you know your own principles, morals, values, and what you’re striving to achieve, it will be a lot easier for you to figure out if the ask fits in with your life mission or work before you say yes.
  • Will You Have to Give Up Something to Do It? – There is always an opportunity cost for everything you do or don’t do. Try to figure out what it will cost you if you do it versus the cost if you don’t do it.
  • What Are the Negatives to Saying No? – Make a list of what will happen when you say no. Then, beside each action that may happen, record what response you will offer? Sometimes asking about what the “worst” thing that can happen given this decision can help.
  • What Are the Negatives to saying Yes? – Just like you may miss something when you say no, you may also miss something else when you say yes. Consider the effects of saying yes and how that might look, and what problems might result.

When you take the time to hash out each ask, you’ll end up saying yes or no with purpose. Saying no just to say no isn’t going to be helpful to you in your life but saying yes with purpose – which sometimes will lead to a no instead of a yes – no matter how much you think you want to say yes – can really pay off. Being purposeful with your answers, even when it’s yes, will make you feel more motivated to do things when you say yes.